It was a Weekend Update family reunion on tonight’s summer edition of the SNL staple.
Not only did former anchors Jimmy Fallon and Seth Meyers appear as George Washington and Thomas Jefferson, but Tina Fey returned to the Update desk to share her thoughts on some of the news events of the past few days, particularly concerning her alma mater, the University of Virginia.
“It’s a beautiful school, and I have nothing but fond memories of my time there,” she said of the school. “And I graduated a virgin, and I still liked it. That’s how good the architecture is down there.”
Earlier this week, a “Unite the Right” rally was held at the school to protest the removal of confederate monuments, and in Donald Trump‘s response, the president blamed the counter-protests for the violence as well.
— Saturday Night Live (@nbcsnl) August 18, 2017
“It broke my heart to see these evil forces descend upon Charlottesville,” Fey continued. “Then Donny John comes out and says that he condemns violence ‘on many sides.’ On many sides, Colin. And I’m feeling sick, ’cause you know, I’ve seen Raiders of the Lost Ark, and I wasn’t confused by it. No, Colin, nazis are always bad, I don’t care what you say.”
Fey explained that more rallies are planned for this Saturday, and she has some advice for how people can deal with their feelings of anger.
“I would urge people this Saturday, instead of participating in the screaming matches and potential violence, find a local business you support, maybe a Jewish-run bakery or an African American-run bakery, and order a cake with the American flag on it…and just eat it, Colin,” she said, digging a fork into an actual American flag cake and stuffing her face.
Eventually, Fey was dipping a grilled cheese into the cake over the president’s support of the confederate monuments, and was giving one last piece of advice:
“In conclusion, I really want to say, to encourage all good, sane Americans to treat these rallies this weekend like the opening of a thoughtful movie with two female leads: Don’t show up. Let these morons scream into the empty air. I love you Charlottesville, and as Thomas Jefferson once said, who’s that hot light-skinned girl over by the butter churn?”
Earlier in the show, Fallon and Meyers appeared as Washington and Jefferson, who were there to respond to Trump comparing Washington and Robert E. Lee.
They explained that they don’t need statues to represent them, because according to Fallon/Washington, the nation has given them “an honor greater than any statue: a three-day weekend in February during which all Americans get 50% off all mattresses.”
Weekend Update Summer Edition airs Thursdays at 9 p.m. on NBC.
(E! and NBC are both part of the NBC Universal family.)